She walks down the aisle graced with petals and beauty, elegantly engaging sight of him. While he stands in his best attired waiting with his breath held, only having eyes for her. Ceremonial proceedings flow at an even pace and then their eyes connect as their verbal promises exchanges and sealed with a kiss. The promises declared during this life-changing moment in time are remembered with joy when opportune experiences join their gazes together once again. However all too often these promises can be harder to remember on the days where conflict is present, illness rears its’ head or resentment has taken ground.
Wedding vows, traditional or modern, are full of promises and declarations to ‘be there’ for each other ‘in good times and bad’. It is no secret that marriage has many incredible moments, and then there are times when the rubber hits the road and it can feel messy until a couple get to know each other better. Tuckman, a renowned psychologist, proposed that there are four stages of relationship building that are necessary to build an effective team being; ‘forming, storming, norming and performing’. From a relationship context, this pathway during each stage is the building of resilience and development of sustainability. It takes time to learn each other’s needs, differences, strengths, desires and dreams. A wedding vow, an exchange of promises made before God, declares that you love your ‘one’ enough that you are willing to engage in the adventures of life together in partnership.
Promises exchanged between lovers shouldn’t be a fearful moment where expectations are set and if these aren’t met then failure is evident! Rather the bible is full of evidence that relationship takes time and requires a commitment to unconditionally love during both the messy and spectacular days! The vows proclaimed on that special day before family and friends, is a moment where an authentic acknowledgment is made that their love is valued and protected during the incredible moments and tough seasons. This statement of security and commitment, together with His sovereign blessing, are the foundational elements needed to vision purpose, destiny and prosperity amongst any storm.
‘Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
Ecclesiastes 4:12
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Mind Tools (2015). Forming, storming, norming and performing: Understanding the stages of team formation. Cited at: mindtools.com